Road the Emmaus

Road to Emmaus

Lately I have been thinking that perhaps it is better to abstain from all sex for a while. The longer I go without sex, the less important it seems. The notion that you can “get it out of your system” by having casual sex every now and then, is simply that, a notion. Rather, by having sex only increases your desire to have more sex. Once I feel the pleasures of another person I only want it more and more. If you are not married, or at least in a steady relationship, the search for sex can then take up quite a bit, if not all if your time. At least that has been my experience.

It is hard to say what life will bring you. A woman could walk up to me tomorrow on the street and say, “Hey, do you want to fuck me?” This would be very difficult for me to resist. The chances of that happening though are fairly non-existent. At least they have yet to happen to me thus far, even though it was certainly one of my more active fantasies when younger! What I can say is that there is a certain peace and happiness in not being overly subject to ones desires. Desire is a part of life of course, and a healthy part, but a part that must be monitored, at least for me.

God is becoming more and more an essential part of my life. How can I say this? When I turn away from certain things, when I pursue other, deeper and more spiritual things, my life is better and happier. I am no saint nor will I ever be but I can say that as a sinner my life is often not happy and even downright dysfunctional. Prayer and spirituality are important. Where the physical fits into all this I am still unsure of, except to say that too much of it can lead to unhappiness. When I give that all up I am a better person, better, happier and nicer to others, a more positive force in the world around me. At least I hope that is the case. But if it is, then I start to feel what a true and deep love can actually mean.

This is all a journey so for those who believe, I ask for your prayers.