Abstinence can be a good thing. When I compare and contrast the two halves of my being, the overly sexual vs. the spiritual, I have to say that abstinence has its virtues. There are times when it has seemed ridiculous to do without sex. But I can also say that every single relationship I have had has ended, that the women I shared my bed with are no longer there, and that each one took its toll on me. What is the point of it all when all you have at the end are simply memories? Yes, as a man I enjoyed, and am still enticed by, the game of conquest. Amassing sexual trophies is an addictive sport. Chasing after beautiful women is a thrilling game. This part of me still exists.
But there is a price to be paid for everything. There is the subtle spiritual decay that occurs over time. It is one thing to love someone and end up sleeping with that person. It may not be the best thing to do, but I do not think it is a terrible thing either. It is another thing though to sleep with many people wantonly. At that point you are in the game of manipulation, mutual exploitation, and selfish pleasure seeking. After the initial thrill and pleasures have worn off, you have to deal with what you have done, or what you have done to another person or what that person has done to you. One thing I have realized in my life is that you cannot separate the body and soul, or, to put it into more modern parlance, the mind and the body. This is as old as Christianity itself, “the body the temple of the Holy Spirit” thing. I really can attest to that in my life. And of course that is not mention the risks of STD, pregnancy, etc. I thank God that I have never had to deal with anything like getting a girl pregnant and then having her get an abortion.
Recently I have been trying to live a bit more soberly. I have gone through periods like this in my life before, by choice. And I have to say that it is a happier state of affairs than the chaos that often comes with loose sexual encounters, behaviors, desires. Perhaps that is just me and my own peculiar personality. Recently I have been reading about Evangeline Lilly from lost. Kassy K introduced this beauty to me through her blog (thanks Kassy!). I am not a fan of Lost, and I had never even heard of her. But it is a delight to know that there are some prominent Hollywood stars out there who do not belong the the Hollywood culture. Now if I had been a famous movie star I would probably would have had sex with thousands of women. But fortunately God did not put me in that situation so that was never an issue for me. It is nice to know that she is a Christian, but like me, is also a potty mouth and in many ways a walking oxymoron. For me there are few things more alluring than a beautiful, Christian woman. She is clearly not a prude though, and you can sense her sexuality and sensuality beneath the surface. Yet she clearly has values and beliefs, and this makes her very alluring.
The difficult thing about being a Christian in today’s world is the isolation you may feel at times. We are surrounded by a pagan culture which can be quite enticing. As a man the temptations and opportunities for sexual pleasure are all around me. I try to find a balancing ack in all this, not trying to go to far in one direction or the other. But what I have discovered time and time again in my life is that leaning more towards the side of restraint brings far more happiness than leaning towards the other side, even though often in my life not only have I leaned greatly towards the other side, but I have fallen over the cliff.
So I love reading about prominent people in the world who share my beliefs but who also seem down to earth, normal, healthy and happy. As I have said in an earlier post, fanaticism is as equally unpleasant to me as its opposite. Evangeline Lilly seems to be a good example of a well balanced, healthy, Christian woman.